Big words

I enjoy using big words in my reports. I occasionally get a chance to use something stupid-big.

So when I ran the call for the young woman in her college dorm room with the headache after eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream, and she really wanted to go to the hospital because her headache “just wouldn’t go away” and since this headache was “the worst she had ever experienced” I jumped at the chance.

Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia.


  1. Medic Wicket says:

    You should try to use fake words too, like embiggens. I once found a way to use burtation on a report to describe a patient’s condition. This is a burtation:

  2. Flash Larry says:

    So where do you put this phrase in your trip report.

    • My service requires a one sentence, or phrase, “impression” to be typed into the narrative after the assessment section, and before the treatment section. That’s where it goes. Between the third and fourth paragraph.

      • So does my service, but we can only use one of the selections in the drop down box. Short sighted decision by the new medical director. Fortunately, they left “Illness” in as one of the selections as well as “Injury”. So, all my patients have an “Illness” or an “Injury” no matter what is wrong with them.

        Silly, I know, but it makes this childish medic feel better.

        • Yeah, we use the drop down box thing too. But we don’t have “illness.” So for a guy with pneumonia whose chest hurts from coughing, we have to select “chest pain” then write “pneumonia” in our narrative.

          It’s all very silly and redundant.

        • Flash Larry says:

          TOTW, I have the same problem with our ePCR system. In fact, I was warned by some friends who worked for another agency and use another system of the problems that can occur when the choices are inadequate, or in their case, forced the entry of something that was inapplicable and incorrect that had to later be corrected in the narrative. Our system had it’s problems. One was that when we did a blood glucose, it had a box that HAD to be answered for which the choices were “High” and “Low.” There was no place for “Normal.” So I would actually write in the narrative, to wit:

          NOTE: System requires entry of high or low in the Blood Glucose algorithm. I entered “high” because it demands and answer but the blood glucose was not in fact high. BLOOD GLUCOSE IS NML.

          They didn’t like me doing that but eventually they fixed it. In the meantime, they’ve changed several fields for routine transports so that we now have to enter all sorts of other things. If we log “Cardiac Monitoring” it now gives you no option but to check “Monitor Central Lines” as part of the things that go along with it. It’s not possible to have Cardiac Monitoring without Monitoring Central Lines. So I no longer check “Cardiac Monitoring,” I just write it in the narrative. The narrative is my catchall for the foolishness in the drop down boxes.

          Guess what? I’m apathetc. I don’t complain. I don’t write it up. I’m tired of fighting stupidity. I was told once, when I continued against a wall of disinterest to try to advocate for something that would have been an easy fix of a problem, “You care more about this organization than the people who run it.” I realized that was true so I no longer wage the battle.

          And they certainly don’t ever come to me and ask my opinion of anything.

          • As I’ve said many times over the years about my organization, “We succeed despite our management, not because of it.”

            I’m sure I don’t need to say it, but I will, that every problem you point out is programatic and easy to fix if your management were to talk with the vendor. I know because I was the guy that talked with the vendor for a number of years even though I wasn’t management. We finally got to the point where the vendor gave me greater than usual client access to the guts of the program so I could fix stuff myself.

            The difference is that you have to have someone running the system that wants it to work the way it’s supposed to.

  3. Pity your standing orders don’t include a PO bolus of hot fudge…known to often correct this dire emergency. Of course, our protocols don’t include it either. I suspect it is due to the high potential for abuse by staff.

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