Not a cop

I don’t take people to jail. That is kind of the opposite of what I do. Although I will admit that my uniform can certainly make me look like a police officer to the uninitiated or inebriated.

“What’s this guy here for?” asks the nurse with the voice and demeanor of someone who could only be described as ‘bitchy.’

“He had a little too much to drink last night, and was taking a nap at the bus stop. He was trying to catch a bus down to the Catholic Church for the free breakfast, but he missed it.”

“Why isn’t he in jail, like he should be?”

“Because he is hungry, cold, and tired. Your hospital has food, warm blankets, and soft beds. He needs a nap and a snack, then I’m sure he will be out of your hair pretty quickly.”

“Well, he should have gone to jail.


It’s not against the law to be drunk. It’s not against the law to take a nap at a bus stop. It’s not against the law to be homeless, hungry, cold, and tired. No cop I have ever met around here is going to take a guy to jail for sleeping off a drinking binge at a bus stop.

It is also not against the law to be a bitch. But being a bitch doesn’t get you anywhere.

Sometimes I wonder if particular nurses have a crappy attitude because they always get the stinky drunk patients, or if those nurses always get the stinky drunk patients because they have a bad attitude.


  1. I almost got into a tug-of-war with a nurse once when I tried to give a drunk a warm blanket. I put on blanket, she takes it off. Okay, maybe it’s a custody issue; I go get one of our OWN blankets and apply, she follows and takes it off. Hey, what can I say, lady; you do your thing and I’ll do mine.

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