Things I said today

“I really like this crown molding. Do you think I could get your carpenter’s name and number later? Now, which hospital do you want to go to?”

“She really doesn’t have room to call anyone racist. There’s a framed picture of Huey Newton hanging on her wall.”

“I don’t know what it is. Call it atrial bigeminy. That should confuse them long enough.”

“No sir, I don’t want to see your testicles. I believe you.”

“I’m sorry you are having a bad day. Perhaps you shouldn’t have come to work?”

“Dude, we just hiked half a mile in 90 degree heat to get to you; you’re going to the hospital.”


It was a busy day.


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