New Doctor

Newguy and I are taking an older gentleman into the hospital having an active stroke. It’s a legit stroke: all of a sudden he couldn’t move his left arm or leg, and his face started drooping, then his slurred speech started.

“Hot stroke” as we call it.

I’m giving my report to the nurses, and apologizing for sticking the guy 5 times without getting an IV.

Literally, all I did on the way to the hospital was 1) call a report on the radio, and 2) make this guy a pincushion.

I’m in the midst of a bad IV streak. I was 2-for-9 that day.

Some new doctor I’ve never seen before walks into the room. Most physicians in this emergency room wear scrubs, and occasionally a white coat, but this guy looks like a Brooks Brothers catalog cover model. Pressed khakis, cordovan wing tips, light blue pinpoint oxford, and a regimental rep tie.

He listens to the rest of my report while he walks over to the patient.

As I’m finishing up my report and grabbing a signature from the nurse, he looks at me.

“So y’all didn’t get a line?”

“No. I tried a bunch, but I didn’t get one. Sorry.”

“That’s cool, don’t worry about it” he says as he turns to the nurse. “Let’s go ahead and get him over to CT, and call Neurology.”

He takes his stethoscope off and begins listening to breath sounds, and turns back to me.

“Did y’all get a sugar on this guy?”
“Yeah, it was one-forty-four.”

“Good. We need to know the sugar. That’s some important shit.”


  1. I like the cut of his jib. He has both his priorities and his style squared away.

    OTOH, never trust a doctor in Crocs – they’ve already made one bad decision…

  2. I wish more doctors would learn from this guy. Sadly, in my experience the new doctors are rarely this good.

    One more thing, never trust a man wearing pants with belt loops and not wearing a belt.

    • I have to disagree a bit with your sartorial suggestions, sir. It is perfectly acceptable for a gentleman to wear braces with his trousers, instead of a belt. At times, braces would be preferred over a belt, such as when wearing a three-piece suit, as a belt will mess with the line of the vest. Of course, braces should be worn underneath a jacket, and never by themselves.

      And suspenders that clip on are just the worst thing ever.

      • I stand corrected.

        I would actually agree with that braces are more than acceptable and at times preferable to a belt, but I clearly didn’t make it clear in my writing, that I was speaking more in the realm of physicians where I’ve yet to see one wearing those in the clinical area. Either way, no way to hold your pants up be it necessary or not, I don’t trust you.

        And yes, clip on, either suspenders or ties, are absolutely. Worst. Idea. Ever.

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