Quack

Some gal had a seizure at a bagel shop. Which is too bad, because we are hungry and it’s generally frowned upon to buy breakfast while a patient is having a medical emergency.

Of course, there’s no shortage of unhelpful bystanders on cell phones, and for some reason, the fire guys are wearing their turnout gear.

There’s too many people crowded around this college-age looking gal lying on the floor, so I’m hanging in the back. I guess the stripes on my sleeves make me look important, as another lady who appears about the same age, and shoves a phone in my face and tells me her father is on the phone.

“Yes, hello? This is C with the ambulance. How can I help?”

“Hi, this is Dr. Duckman. I’m her father. Can you tell me what happened?”

“Well, sir, it appears that she had a seizure. The bystanders describe a grand-mal seizure that lasted approximately one minute, but she’s coming around now.”

“Is she hurt?”

“It doesn’t appear that way, and my partner is taking good care of her.”

“Is she going to the hospital?”

“It looks that way, since they’re getting her up onto our stretcher right now.”

“Well, which hospital is she going to?”

“To Local Hospital, right up the road. Do you need the address?”

“No, I know where it is. Could you have the ER doctor call me? And make sure she doesn’t have any X-rays or CAT scans or MRIs?”

“Uh…I’ll pass the info along, but that will be up to the physician at the hospital, If you’d like to come to the hospital you can -”

“No, I can’t, because I’m in Connecticut. Can you hand the phone back to her roommate?”

We find out later this girl has been having seizures for several years, but has never seen a neurologist. Her father, who called himself a physician and a doctor, had been treating her (against all sorts of ethics rules). Get this: he has been treating her with adjustments because he “doesn’t believe in pills.”

He’s a chiropractor.

Comments

  1. Would this be like a phamarcist treating his anxiety-riddled daughter’s
    ADD with caffeine and supplements instead of medication? I hear that happens sometimes.

  2. Flash Larry says:

    I’ve known chiropractors with a whole lot more sense than that. And intelligence.

    P.S. Obviously, the adjustments aren’t working.

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