Done

I’ve run my last EMS call.

For a while, at least. A good, long while. I can’t say when, if ever, I will put on a uniform shirt again. I’m not sure that I will ever call in service again, or ever step into an ambulance again.

I just can’t take it any more. I’m done.

I’m tired of the continued incompetence of my coworkers and colleagues.

I’m tired of having to follow protocols that are written for the lowest common denominator.

I’m tired of stupid policies written by people who have never worked on an ambulance, and policies enforced selectively and for no good reason.

I’m tired of being criticized by management with less experience, and a lower level of certification than myself.

I’m tired of my fellow paramedics harming patients and not facing repercussions, simply because “they show up on time.”

I’m tired of shaking my head every time I hear a new story about a new screw up.

Pronouncing people dead without touching them. Defibrillating (repeatedly) a patient in a paced rhythm who is conscious. Giving adenosine to a patient having a STEMI because the paramedic thought atrial fibrillation in the 130s was causing the problem. Giving solu-medrol to patients with pneumonia, and albuterol to patients in CHF. Giving mag sulfate to a dialysis patient having a mild asthma attack. Refusing to honor a valid, presented DNR in the presence of a family because “I think I can save him.”

I’m just so damned tired.

I love my job, I love my patients (mostly), and I love my partner. But I can’t do this any more.

I realize that these problems may be specific to my service, but I really don’t think they are. Can you honestly say that your ambulance service has none of these problems? Your service doesn’t have incompetent management or incompetent field crews?

If your service is really different from mine, are you hiring?

Right now, I’m taking at least a six-week break. I wonder if I’ll miss it.

Four

I missed my blog’s birthday. It turned four on the 27th of August.

I feel terrible. Luckily, my blog doesn’t have feelings.

Lots of things have happened in four years. I’m glad you, my readers, have been here to share some of it with me.

This blog literally saved my career. Your comments and emails have been funny, sad, enlightening, and all sorts of other adjectives. You guys, my readers, are a big reason I’m still here riding the bus.

Thanks for being here, and for reading.

Smoothie

“Male assaulted. PD on scene” reads the MDT. It’s raining and traffic is heavy, so I have to actually pay attention to the roads instead of the book I was reading.

I’m reading the new Grisham book, Gray Mountain. I can’t recommend it yet.

We finally make it on scene to find a guy in his early thirties standing with local law enforcement in the living room of his apartment. He has blood streaming down his face, and he is holding a towel against his head.

Shaq is taking the lead on this one. He’s going to be in Paramedic school soon, and needs to get used to assessing patients. Plus, he is really good at it. Good enough that I rarely have any questions for my patients, or tips for my partner.

After sensing an opening in the conversation with local law enforcement and the injured gentleman, Shaq breaks in:

“Man, what happened to your head?”

“That bitch hit me with a smoovie!”

“A smoothie?”

“Yeah! A smoovie!”

A glance at the gentlemen with the firearms confirms the previous point: they have no idea what is going on either, and how a cold fruit emulsion could have caused such a wound.

“She hit you in the head with a smoothie?”

“Yeah! I said that already!”

“But how did it cut you like that?”

“Cuz it’s heavy, man! Damn!”

“But, it’s soft, and it’s in a styrofoam cup or something.”

“Naw, man! It’s heavy!”

“A smoothie is heavy?”

“Yeah, man. Heavy. One of them things you smoove your clothes with!”

“One of the things you smooth your clothes with?”

“Yeah!”

“But, I don’t really…I’m confu-oh! Do you mean an IRON?”

 

Shaq

I can’t think of what to name my new partner. So I came up with Shaq.

He’s like 8 inches taller than me, older than me, and likes basketball. He said he wanted his blog name to be Shaq, so it is.

So that settles it then.

I still miss Slimm.

But this guy is pretty cool.

Where are y’all coming from?

Lately I have noticed more and more traffic coming to my blog, and its Facebook page. Somehow, ‘likes’ on my Facebook page have more than doubled in the past few months.

Not that I’m complaining or anything, just curious to know where everyone is coming from.

I thought it was just Flash and my mom that were reading this blog, but I’ve been proven wrong again.