Some urgent care center called us to transfer a lady to the hospital for observation. “Rule out chest pain” were the notes on the call. Which means someone was dumb enough to say that to a call-taker, and the call-taker was dumb enough to actually type it into the notes of the call.
“Do you have chest pain? Yes?” There. Chest pain has now been ruled in. Fixed it for you.
Nurse hands me an envelope sealed tighter than an evidence packet. She walks away. Interested in what findings this dipshit nurse may have found, I follow her out to the desk.
“Can I get a report on the patient in B?” I ask her as politely as humanly possible.
“Everything the hospital needs is in that envelope, and I already called report to them.”
“Oh, okay. But I could use a report, just so I know what is going on.”
“I can’t tell you that. That would be a HIPAA violation.”
Now this is where the old CCC would have said something along the lines of “Come on, lady. It’s a HIPAA violation for you not to give me a report. This is 2013, and you can’t give me a report on a patient you expect me to take care of for the next half-hour? Oh, that’s right. I just ride in the back of my ambulance, twiddling my thumbs. I didn’t spend 3 years in school or nothing.”
But nice CCC says: “Oh, okay. Have a nice day.” As he opens the envelope and begins reading the notes.
Just another miracle of modern medicine. Better living through pharmacology, I say.